In His Time

I wiped the sweat from my face with the top of my scrub sleeve as I bent over the low clinic bed to check my patients pulse. I smiled at the beautiful picture in front of me: A brand-new mother holding her little baby pretty much fresh off the press. :) Not even an hour old, she seemed to have already made herself at home in this strange, non-fluid environment. I congratulated Claire again; I was so proud of her. It had been a long hard labor.

The day before she was texting me throughout her labour, and I encouraged her to stay home and get lots of rest. At 10pm she texted me again: "Ma'am Sarah I don't know what my feeling is now so I think I should come to Mercy." I had to smile- what a sweet girl!
I met her at the clinic and admitted her soon after since she was far enough along in labour to stay. At around midnight she came to the desk where I was charting. and I leaned over to massage her back through each contraction. She was tired and having bad back labor, and I could see in her eyes that she really needed companionship and comfort. Her husband was sleeping on the bench outside. I took her back to the bed where she non-hesitantly lay down and relaxed as I stood in front of her. I quickly exited the cubical to get to the other side of the bed so I could rub her back, but I had barely shut the curtain before she bolted up out of the bed. NO way was she going to let me leave her alone! :)
By the time the pushing stage began, Claire was exhausted. "Saaaarah, it's so pain!" she kept moaning. "You could can do this Claire." I tried to sound enthusiastic. She would nod in agreement until the next contraction hit. "No, I CAN'T do this! SarAH....is it far?" And so the cycle continued with each contraction. Finally at 6:30am she delivered, and we all cheered as I handed her her little girl. Suddenly she forgot she was exhausted: It was a beautiful moment.

Less than an hour after the birth, I sat beside Claire to monitor her closely and begin charting. But I had barely sat down before my cell phone went off... It was another one of my patients, and it sounded like she was in active labor. She came in soon after, and delivered her baby at 9:30am. It was an eventful morning to say the least.

I finally left the clinic sometime a little after noon, exhausted but full of gratefulness to God for His goodness and grace. Although there had been some major complications, both patients were now stable and recovering. And God had also provided me with the exact number of continuities right on time. It can never be emphasized enough; Great is His faithfulness!

Thank you so much to those of you praying- God never ceases to answer!

"Till next time!"

Happy Easter Indeed! :)

In Christ alone my hope is found He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness Scorned by the ones He came to save
‘Til on that cross as Jesus died The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death This is the power of Christ in me
From life’s first cry to final breath Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man Can ever pluck me from His hand
‘til He returns or calls me home Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand

I Believe in Miracles, For I Believe in God

Sometimes we suspect the conclusion of a story, only to discover that God has planned a beautiful new chapter. This past week we had the joy and privilege of witnessing one of these unexpected and miraculous chapters.
In my last posting I talked about a preterm baby who was discharged from the hospital against medical consent due to the family unable to pay for hospital bills. He was so small, maybe a few pounds in weight, and not doing very well. To top it off, he is from a Badjao family.
The Badjaos are a Filipino Muslim Ethnic group of sea gypsies. They are an extremely poor ethnic group that depend depend mainly on fishing for their survival. Badjao communities fall under the category of government DDU areas: depressed, deprived, and underdeveloped. Although they have been age-old boat dwellers, Badjao's now live on floating houses built on stilts above their boats and fishing paraphernalia. It's sad to see them exploit the water below for a wide range of purposes which includethe deposit of bodily waste and garbage as well as bathing and fishing. Due to their extreme poverty and lack of education (they don't even know their own age), we make exceptions for them regarding our policy of care at the clinic. For example, we will accept them in labor even if they haven't come for any prenatal visits.
That being said, when we heard that this little baby was taken to his community, we didn't think there was much hope of his survival. How could he in such living conditions? But for God, nothing is impossible. A few days after being discharged from the hospital, my friend (the baby's midwife) miraculously found the family and was shocked to find the baby still alive!
Last Sunday I went with Maria to visit the baby. Because of his poor vital signs and weight loss (imagine!) the time before, we asked them if the mother and baby could come back to our clinic for a week of supervision and breastfeeding support. She unexpectedly agreed, but lasted only one night before begging to return to her family.
The baby is still unstable, but seems to be doing somewhat better. Realistically, medically this baby should not have even survived. But praise be to God, His ways are above that which "should have been." Because of this truth, we undeservedly experience His mercy and grace.
Even though we don't know what will happen with this baby, we know that God is bigger than any of life's questions.
Miracles still happen, but I don't believe they take place by chance. Instead, they are beautifully, perfectly instigated by the hands of God; it's in those hands I know I am secure.

Miracle baby :)

Badjao community...at low tide

Just one of the tears of the world

I stepped inside the white curtain enclosing one of the five birth cubicles. Another birth was taking place. The woman had just begun to push as I sat down nearby to make myself available if necessary. The atmosphere was calm as we carried on a lighthearted conversation. Suddenly the mood changed as we discovered that the baby’s presentation was not cephalic (head first): it was breech. After a rather difficult delivery a tiny little baby was born limp and lifeless. After deep suctioning with no effect, we began to immediately prepare for transport. A few midwives ran to get the portable oxygen tank as the supervisor quickly transferred the baby onto the mini resuscitation stretcher. Quickly I picked up the oxygen mask and began to give the baby PPV (positive pressure ventilation) as the other midwife carried him into the ambulance. For a few moments inside the ambulance it was just me and the baby. The others were still preparing the oxygen tank, and although nothing was hooked up to the mask, I continued to give PPV. At least the baby would still receive 20% oxygen. Breath...2...3... Breath...2...3... Besides a faint heartbeat, the baby had made no sign of life. As I looked down at this tiny (less than 2kg) baby in front of me, I suddenly realized his life could be taken right before my eyes. My legs began to shake, and I prayed as hard as I could- begging God to spare his little life. By this time we were on our way to the hospital and the oxygen had been hooked up. Brianna and I were continuing to do CPR when suddenly the baby gave out a little cry. It was almost the sound I've ever heard! When we arrived at the hospital, I had a hard time leaving the baby... Would he receive adequate care? Would he make it? Then God reminded me that this baby’s life was not simply in the hands of the hospital, he was in His care. With peace and confidence I knew I could leave him there... It was the best place.
That evening I went with the midwife to visit the baby. Thank God he was still alive. The next day my friend went to visit again only to discover that the family had discharged the baby against medical consent. They had no money to keep the baby in intensive care. We were crushed, realizing the baby didn’t have much hope to live.
It’s been hard, witnessing so much heartaches and pain. And then I thought of how little I actually witness, compared to God who sees and knows everything. I can't imagine how much agony He must endure. Elizabeth Elliot once wrote, "None of us likes pain. All of us wish at times we did not need to 'go through all this stuff.' Let us settle it once and for all: we cannot know Christ and the power of His resurrection without the fellowship of His suffering."
So as much as it hurts, as overwhelming as it can be, if we truly want to know Him more we must continue to pray for what Michael Card so beautifully penned in one of his songs:

So open my eyes and open my heart

Grant me the gift of Your grieving

Awaken in me the compassion to weep

Just one of the tears of the world

And remembering with joy- it will be worth it all when we see Jesus...

A Call in the Night

It was 11pm. I had just turned off the light and was looking forward to a good nights sleep. I barely had my eyes shut before my cellphone went off: my continuity was at the clinic in labor. I quickly scrubbed up and headed over to the clinic. After picking up her chart I realized I had only been able to complete 3 prenatals on her since she wasn't able to return for her last one, and she was only a little over 37 weeks.
For the school here we need five continuities before graduating, and in order for it to count as a continuity, I needed at least four prenatals on her. So far, out of the 15 or so continuities that I have taken, only three count. All the others had similar problems with shortage of prenatals or I had to transport them to the hospital.
Right away I felt my attitude going the wrong direction. But instead of keeping it in check, I let the struggle continue inside as I questioned God..."Lord, why have you let this happen with so many of my patients?" I had even prayed in the beginning that He would quickly give me five continuity births so I wouldn't stress about it before the deadline. And I didn't want to have to have to think about my patients in terms of "how many I need." To me the prayer made sense... Why wouldn't God fulfill that desire and request? But here I was, stressing about my numbers, and yet another one had "failed."
Because I was so upset with God, I didn't even feel like being a midwife that night. I don't think my patient realized what was going inside of me, as somehow I greeted her with a disguising smile. But I felt like a cruddy midwife.
She delivered that night, and it was a hard birth. For three and half hours she continued to hemorrhage, as I did my best to control it with every management in the book. It was also a three and a half hour struggle with God. It rooted with my bad attitude in the beginning, and spread to feelings of not wanting to be here- not wanting to deal with anothercomplication. But by 5am, God had intervened with more than the birth complications, He had also worked on me. Before I left, completely exhausted and spent, my sweet patient thanked me over and over again. I felt like bursting into tears and telling her to stop. I didn't deserve any thanks- God knew! :) But He allowed her anyway, to teach me a lesson, to show me His grace. And I felt humbled and honored that He still choose to use me, despite my selfishness.
This weekend they came for their third day check up. Her husband greeted me outside the clinic with a big smile and a huge bag of fruit; I couldn't believe it! I think God winked and smiling at me...and I'm pretty sure I went red. :)

Top Headline of Today's Paper

This weeks coverage is one that I have been looking forward to making since the creation of this blog. It's not necessarily going to be the largest breaking news, however, I do believe it ranks near the top five. After a year and a half of endless typing, we have completed our very last written assignment. I probably wouldn't think twice before believe someone if they told me that all the midwifery data we've compiled in these assignments could reach the moon and back if typed in font size six. :) There were definitely days when I thought it would never end, and I would wonder if I could make it to the next deadline. And it was in those weeks, days, and moments that I was continually reminded that His strength is indeed perfect when our strength is gone. I knew this was real, as so many times I was truly empty and yet He carried me through. Thinking back on the past year and a half the following words come to mind...
"I will not boast in anything, no gifts no power no wisdom. But I will boast in Jesus Christ, His death and Resurrection!"
Really, truly, I couldn't have done these assignments and everything else going on here without Him. He pretty wonderful! :)
So here I am today, still trying to believe that we've come this far. The textbooks are still far from collecting dust on the shelf. We have an exam tomorrow, laws and protocols to compile, book reports to write, final paperwork to complete, clinical work to continue, and the final board exam to think about. But Praise God no more assignment confinement! :) Bring out the chocolates- that's something worth celebrating!! :)

In memory =)

Party time :)

Monday morning at 4am a few of us Canadians woke up and headed over to Tim and Bethany's place to watch the hockey Olympic game... It really was a special time and we had a blast! I don't think I've ever been this patriotic... ;)

Crowding around the computer to watch the game... we were catching a stream that kept cutting in and out Making crepes for Breakfast :) Celebrating