Sunday, September 19, 2010

Another Chapter

It's my first time to blog as an official CPM (Certified Professional Midwife), and boy does is sure feel good! :)
I've wondered whether or not I should continue to blog. After all, it's called "The Philippines: A New Chapter" and that chapter has closed. Yet in many ways I feel as though the past several months are still very much connected to that phase of my life. So I'll continue to write, dedicating this next part to not only those who can relate with the experiences that reverse culture shock/adjustments may bring, but also to anyone who cares to share in this part of my journey...If for anything, I write this for my own record, seeing as I fail at keeping a journal! :)
If hadn't believed in reverse culture shock before, I certainly do now. And for those who claim it is "stranger" than culture shock, I now understand what they are talking about; simply because it is strange!
When I first came home, I was thrilled to be reunited with family and friends; experiencing their love and affection made me wonder how I had ever left! :) And than things started settling down, and I realized I needed to "get back into the swing of life here." And that's when the feeling of loneliness arrived. I was HOME- a place where I should easily fit back into, but I didn't really feel like I did so well. It wasn't just that so much had changed here in the span of two years, but I had changed as well. I know change, if it's for the better, is a healthy part of life, but for me it is also one of the most difficult parts.
I remember the first time I was alone at the Windmill, I had a good cry. It was probably the first time I had been left alone in past two years! I couldn't explain why I was crying, but if sure felt good! :)
I didn't wait long before I threw myself back into work and Church activities. My fellow midwife friends had all advised me to take a long enough break before starting work, but I figured it would help me find my place here again. To a certain degree it did, however, I really should have listened to them! ;) I reckon you live and learn...
To be honest with you, the transition was smoother than I had expected. It didn't take too long before this place felt like home again- except in a new way. It's hard when people you love move on, but God has given so much grace, and has been so patient with me as I once again learn to accept another chapter. I often tend to hang onto the past, yet He calls us to go forward- pressing towards the mark of the high calling. So I'll continue to go on with joy, fully trusting the One who is holding my hand...

2 comments:

Amanda Quiring said...

I can relate to so many of your sentiments, Sarah. I've gone through reverse culture shock several times and it doesn't get easier, it's just different each time... but you learn so much about yourself and God in those moments of figuring out your place in the world! ...because no matter where you are or what you're doing, the ultimate thing that defines you and gives you a place is the fact that you're a child of the King of Kings! ...but the tears still fall sometimes and they're a good thing.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations Sarah for passing the exam..I would like to add that enjoyed reading your blog..You are a Godly Woman..

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